The Problem with Grief

Grief is something that will affect all of us at some time or another, and so it is part of life and being human. People will experience it in a variety of ways and much has been written on the subject. Having helped clients for over 20 years I have realised that there some factors involved which are not always addressed in grief counselling and which would be incredibly helpful to thousands of people.

Grief in itself is not an emotion but an umbrella term which can include emotions such sadness, anger, guilt, despair and anxiety.

Grief can be for a person or child, or even a pet, and it includes other types of loss too such as one's health or job. Unresolved grief can lead to depression and stress related problems.

People do not always go through the standard '5 stages of grief', nor do they need to.

A major reason for people holding onto their grief is because they think that they should.

Let me explain that last point, because this can be the main problem.

If you ask someone what it would mean to let go of their grief, many people would say that if they did, then it would mean that they didn't care. Therefore because they DO care they think they should keep it. This is a trap that many people never climb out of. Just because you let go of grief it does NOT mean that you don't care. It just means you have accepted things as they are now, and can move on. It also means that you can think of the loved one and feel good about the times you had together, rather than feel the grief.

Here's another way to look at it. When you die, how do you want the people you love to feel? Would you like them to feel miserable and depressed for the rest of their lives? Hopefully not. So why should you?

It is possible to let go of the debilitating emotions associated with grief, but the first step is wanting to. After that it is about knowing how to. Anyone interested in some help with the next step can find more information on this site under personal consultations and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).

I am based in Kenilworth, Warwickshire, which is convenient for Leamington Spa, Warwick, Coventry, and other areas in the Midlands, UK.